29 March 2020
21:00

Hello there, Beautiful!

CONGRATULATIONS on making it up until your 40th!

I wonder how are you so different from me now. If life dealt you with so much on your plate, then let me refresh your memory with my ideals as of the moment:
♡ Be the best mother that I kind be for my children, by loving them without controlling them -- A nurturing love that knows when to let go; a supportive love that trusts that I did my job well enough for them to make personal decisions of their own at 18. For Kukik, that'd be soon enough, right? I hope you get to slowly prepare your heart.
♡ As of this moment, though Jay-Jay is quite distant from me physically and emotionally despite sharing the same house -- this lovely "Yellow House" -- I still hope we get the children to have simply one set of parents: A DAD AND A MOM, the same ones who made them out of love.

But if that is no longer the case today, while you're reading this. I AM NOT judging you really. There was A WHOLE decade between us, that you have graciously tackled with a quiet strength.

Seriously, I hope you are happy. I hope you have much lesser "wanting" and expectations as I have now. I hope you no longer beg for attention. I hope you love yourself more -- More than your significant other, and more than your sons.

Please do not feel guilty for the need "to indulge" yourself once in a while. More so, please do not be too mindful of other people's opinions whenever you would want to do anything that will make you happier.

Neither your family nor your folks are the best advocate for your mental and emotional health. So please manage that on your own, the best way that you can.

Remember that if you are happy, the people around you will feel that. Perhaps, like you, they might become happier as well.

Lastly, as this is getting longer than I thought, I pray for more love, strength, patience, and acceptance for all the things you can no longer change.

P. S.
That image of a woman "who you want to become" is bullshit!

There is no such thing. There is only today.
BE PRESENT.
Everyday, that is all you need to do.
Tomorrow is yet tomorrow.
Don't fret about it today.

Your past?
There is not much help pondering on that either. When all is said and done, what use is there in going back, really.

Focus on today.
BE GRATEFUL for whatever you have now. Do not be negligent, nor hold on too tight.

Allow things and people be. For their peace, and for your own.

Many people love you. They are all that you need. Next to your faith in Him above -- the Creator of All Things.