UPDATE:

3:15 EST, Saturday, July 26, 2020

I fucking hate you. The idea of your existence makes me feel disgusted with myself and any time that I spent with or around you makes me wish I could pour industrial cleaning agent down my ears into my brain. I feel so much hate for you; utter, immense hatred. I want to completely, irreversibly erase you from my life and my brain and I hope I never, never have to cross paths with you again. I hope I don't remember drafting this angsty dumpster fire of a mail 5 years from now. Or the one I blindly sent before this.

Holy Fuck, nothing turns me off more, at this second, than the image of your face and the sound of your voice in my brain. I absolutely hate you and can't remember what it was like to have once been, willingly, in your company. I earnestly regret writing to your future self previously or writing about you at all. I hate you. Just know, that right this very second, I hate you more than anything in the universe. You needy, ugly, manipulative, grossly pathetic son of a bitch. I don't owe you shit, you aren't even worthy of a response to all your wild allegations and theories and everything else that you had to say about me, that I doubt you even remember. And this? It's more for me than you. Gotta cleanse you out of my system. Hope you got yourself a fucking life in these last 5 years and didn't chase away every person with your gaslighting and neediness and parasitic nature, you sad boring fuck. I hate you so much, it makes me feel alive. How about that?

PS: Go fuck yourself. I hate you. Sorry, NOT for what I've said, but for having said it at all. I mean every word of it with every shred of my being in the spur of this moment and for the rest of time. Cunt.

-S.