Dear FutureMe,
so I hope you did something in your life. You should have completed your college by now. I am really corious which one you choose. Did you follow my advice about the big fish in the small pond? Are you doing your doctorate? Do you have kids already? If you do, remember you've always had my support, I just really hope the father isn't an dichhead and is taking good care of all of you. Remember he has to take care of you too! I know the kids are the most important thing to you, but if you're not happy, they cannot be either. So cheer up and dump him if needed.

That's if you have kids. In that case I suppose you are still stuck in the Czech Republic. We already decided years ago that that is not what we want from life. We alway wanted to travel... Think about it! Did you see Scandinavia and Beneluxe? Those were our first aims, right? Did you even study physics?

What about your little sister? Is she doing okay? Have you been seeing her often enough? Have you stayed in touch? If you realise just now that not, pick up your phone and say her you love her, because you've always had but never was really good at expressing it! How are your grandparents doing? What about nany? Is she okay? My first thought was if she is still alive, but she has to be. She has done so much for you. Call her and thank her. You know this actually aplies to both of them so... you know what you have to do. And say hello to gramps.

What about your parents? I know you've been really enthusiastic about leaving all that drama behind. So I kind of hope it worked out. But have you heard from them lately? If not or even if yes. Pick up the phone and say them that 16 year old me forgave them. They might ask for what. And I don't know the answer, sorry. Hope you are wiser and will figure that one out for us.

Are you still so untisocial? How many friends do you get? At this you have one. To make you remember her name is, oh you will know. And if not it doesn't matter anyway. Did you stay friends? And how it ended up with the one friend you've lost? Because you were pretty fucked up by it when you wrote this and actually cried really often. When did you lose your vcard, huh? Where you ever able to maintain a relationship? And have you figured out your sexuality, yet?

Have you run the half marathon and marathon? Have you read all the books you wanted to? Have you wroto? Because you haven't gotten to it just yet. Do you still play the piano? If no, please do yourself a favor and start doing it again.

What about your body? Are you okay with it? Because I was always curious if it would ever get any better. Can you eat without regrets? Oh god that sounds like a fantasy! I was temted to ask how much you weight but thats exactly it, right? I really really hope you're okay in that way.

Did you start seeing your therapist again. Because I think you needed it. But I think that as you got worse you got better at pretending you were okay to her. I hope you saw her again and opened up to her. I believe it would have helped.

As to the list of things you swore to yourself you would do: Riding a horse, learning to dive, Go skidiving, learn to draw, and so much more! I forgot of course. I hope that your depression has gotten better thus your memory has improved.

And the think I'm worried about the most. Are you still so fucked up or have you gotten to the ground and colected the crumbs of waht used to be your life and glued them back together? Did they fall apart again?

Just take care of yourself, okay? Remember your favourite mantra: sleep, eat, drink, walk and talk and do it again and again and again till you dont have to think about it anymore.

Love yourself, because who else is there to do it?

Btw, happy birthday!

Bye baby,

your naive and very broken self from 2016 who didn't have anyone to talk to, so she wrote a letter to her future self.

PS: To be delivered on 1st of August 2025