Why are people kinder to pretty girls? Because the world is a shallow place. Everyone is shallow. You, me, the next person, anybody and everybody is shallow. We want the best.
Everyone's love is becoming conditional these days because world is competitive and stringent. There is no benefit to unconditional love and nobody wants to take that risk. Unconditional love comes with a cost. There are greater adjustments to our dreams, ideals and our reputation. This is the survival of the fittest.
It's such a wonder to realize how easily we forget that we are animals at the end and we are experiencing evolution everyday.
Remember? Survival of the fittest and Struggle for existence.
We need to be best to be loved by others.

Become beautiful, educated and a person who has no blackmarks in life because it is really easy to love a person like that. The person loving you will find it easy to love you.
Love yourself enough to care about you. Once you care about you, you will start to work for your betterment and will be disciplined. All the disciplined people who are working for self improvement in the forms of career or anything really love themselves so much. They want the best for them.

I just want to be loved. Imagine a man loving you and would do anything for you. He thinks that your smile makes his day better. He calls and messages to see how you are doing. He wants to make sure you are okay. He is attracted to you so much that he wants to make love softly and hardly. He finds you beautiful even in simple dress. He tells you that you are beautiful and that makes you feel great. Imagine both of you having the back for each other that whatever bad happens, the thought of him makes you smile and gives the reassurance that life isn't so bad. And he feels the same about you. He encourages you to be the best version of each other and you do the same for him too. You both find each other attractive and nothing matters. You both still have crushes for each other that you are still self-conscious and tries to be best version.
I love and want such a man.
I know you are 31 but are you in such a kind of love? If you are, I'm so happy for you. If not, I don't know what to say. I don't have that much life experience. I truly wish my self conscious days are over. Is it over? I don't wanna be unhappy, lonely and never loved forever. I'm making changes. Losing weight and starting to study for career. Please say you are past that and loving yourself.

Btw, I'm listening to pure heroine by lorde while writing this at 3:00 am