Guess what... I think it's officially over and we are officially ruined...

Di ko masabing nagulat ako(kasi we saw it coming for months) ... Pero di ko din akalaing mangyayari nga. I was actually surprised na tumagal tayo ng ganun, pero at the same time heartbroken kasi may malaking parte sakin na hopeful na ikaw na nga at tayo na nga... Kaso wala eh. And I have no one else to blame but me. I think my sumpa talaga ako. Wala yatang makakatanggap ng kung ano ako. Maybe I'll die alone, with no one to share my life with. To think, you only knew half of who I really am pero ganito na naging outcome.. What more pag nag open up na ako completely.

One lesson I learned is, maybe next time maghinay hinay ako sa pag open up sa taong mame meet ko. Kasi masakit kapag bumalik sayo yung mga sinasabi mo eh.

It suucks, kasi just as when I am starting to accept the concept ng new start, and there maybe blessings that might come my way, na I also do deserve good karma and not just bad. Then boom! I end up sabotaging myself and the treasures I find.
I can't ask you to stay. Kasi nakikita ko kung pano kita nasisira, and how unhappy I am making you. I just feel so defeated kasi nung una I was sooo sooo hopeful and grateful that I met you. Diba lagi ko na sinasabi yan. Lagi ko pang sinasabi noon sa sarili ko na thank you Lord, tapos na yung karma ko sa wakas!
And now this...

I think consistent ako in bringing out the worst from other people. Hanggang sa mapuno nalang sila sa akin to the point na mapiilitan kayong saktan ako o Iwan ako.

To be honest, I can't be bitter towards you. Kasi we tried naman eh.. Kaso yun nga wala, Di nag work. If there's one thing, I hope you find someone better. Yung match ng personality mo at ng expectations mo. Simula palang kasi Di na tayo nag set ng standard kasi nga Covid so panay tayo compromise... Kaya iba expectations mo sakin, at iba ang expectations ko sayo... I didn't think that our set up would be permanent. Na ahh, ganun na pala ang dapat Kong kasanayan kasi nga may Covid. And that ultimately ruined it for me. I was always asking for more. And you took that negatively.

For the longest time, naiinggit ako sa family mo, kasi gusto ko sana ganun din trato mo sakin, na ka level ko sila ng importansya. Haha I know, napaka feelingera ko. Pero sana matupad mo yung goals sa personal aspect at sa family mo. I hope maging happy ka. I hope makalimutan mo ko saka yung sama ng loob na binigay ko sayo soon.

I'm sorry na ganito kinahantungan natin. I'm just really sorry. I'm not asking for anything, heck di ko nga aasahan na basahin mo to kasi kilala na kita. Pero kasi kilala mo naman ako, sa ganitong paraan ako mag release ng suppressed emotions, otherwise lagi akong puyat kakaisip.

I know after sometime malilimutan mo din yung horror na nakilala mo ko. And that's good enough for me. Dedmahin mo nalang yung letters na naisulat ko sayo way ahead into the future (umasa talaga ako.. Kaya ako nagsulat ng ganun kalayo pa) pero yun. Dedmahin mo nalang.