hey,

i wish you were better at realizing how good you have it, but you're pretty bad at that. you have a lot of friends, but lately you've felt so alone and out of place that you don't know what to do with yourself. you have flaws like everyone does, you have good days and bad days, you're a human being, it's okay to be upset, and it's okay to understand that you're not okay at times, but this feeling is odd. It's this very obscure sense of loneliness, and I want you to figure out how to fix it by the time you read this again. it's almost uni, a whole different life than what we're used to, with new people and new memories to be made. For fuck's sake, i'm scared of failure, of not being enough, of being lonely. I don't know how to handle it. but I hope that when you read this, you understand it a little bit better. tell me how everything is going. tell me about your new friends and if you're still close with your old ones, like everyone in reclass or Ballislife, and if you don't talk to them, shoot them a text and ask them how everything is going. You always tell people to not be a stranger; make sure you don't end up being one yourself. Try your best, and make yourself be great, please, because right now we're not doing so well. Don't give up, Nathan; be the person you've always wanted to be. Make yourself happy, uplift those around you, and make everyone smile, because you've always been pretty goddamn good at that. How's uri, by the way? did you guys ever hang out again? I miss her, man. She was my best friend; she was this little ray of sunshine. Don't ever forget that about her; she made a lot of things a little bit easier, and she made sure you never felt alone. As much as you thought she might have needed you, you needed her just as much, if not more. Also do me a favor. let it all out; let out everything you've held back. Be sad, be angry, punch a wall, cry your heart out; you need it. It sucks keeping it all in. Are you still playing Frisbee? I want to quit right now. I think i'm done, but we're bad at giving up on things we truly don't want to let go of. Like Lucy, how is she? Does she have a new boyfriend, or did you guys get back together for the millionth time? Did you guys figure things out? How are Chris and San? they've been there for you forever; make sure you're still there for them too. And Noel and Isaiah, are they doing okay? What about Cielle and Nicole? Do they still bother you around and act like sisters? they're really annoying sometimes, but you wouldn't have it any other way. Tell me about yourself, man, tell me about what's happening, tell me about the new things going on, and the things that haven't changed. Have you gotten your G2 yet? we're still in driving school right now. Let me know how everything went. Keep doing you, keep trying your best, and I look forward to who you become and to who we become. I hope we learn to love ourselves, and I hope we find home, not four walls, just somewhere or someone we feel safe with, someone where we can be our best version. I love you, man. Good luck. Also, happy 18th.