Dear Future Me,
I can't believe you're already 15...I still remember when you were seven, with your erratic tantrums and (incredibly) round face...
15 is a magical year. Did everything go well? Are you entering university this year? For now, at 13, I am trying to make everything go as smoothly and flawlessly as possible.
How are grandma and grandpa? Are they still as robust as two years ago? Are you being the best granddaughter you could be to them? Have you completely abandoned your immaturity and neglected their faults?
Are you still a nerdfighter? Have Hank and John aged significantly?
Have you learned to meditate, to relieve stress? Have you learned how to gracefully lose?
Are you still as distant to your father as right now? If you are, you should seriously alleviate the situation. Be brave, it will pay you off! I hope you became much, much braver than me...
Countless things could have happened to you. You may now be a drug addict, but I'm trying to prevent that. I'm trying to make you as robust and beautiful as possible, both emotionally and physically...
Did I do anything wrong? I wish that you could reply to me right now and tell me. I know what I did wrong before this, with my lack of self control, but again, I am trying to compensate by learning as much as possible, by observing and taking in everything around me...
You are still young, even if you're several years older than me. Do you hold the past you with contempt or with admiration? Are you taller than 150cm now, or are you still the same? Have you had your cycle yet?
In the morning, inspired by Hank Green, I had a sudden desire to become a master of science...What did you choose to be your major? No matter what, follow through. FOLLOW THROUGH. The TED talk about the learning curve and how 20hrs of practice can have a massive effect inspired me, but I wish to have mastery in something, no matter if it's science or art. Go on and live your 10,000 hour journey.
Even if you have failed to go to university at 15, or even quit halfway to go smoking, I embrace you for who you are. You are me, and we don't care what 'em people say. They may claim we are dirty, dirty people that don't know shit, but believe in me, because I am you. Believe in yourself. This may sound like a cliche, but no matter what life threw at you, believe.
I would like to thank you so much for coping with myself for another two years. I am difficult to be with, never mind be. I'll be grateful forever. THANK YOU.


With unconditional love and admiration,

Betty Cai (Bettina's a nice name. Remember when Madeline used to call me, or maybe still calls you, Betty the Cow? Really, Betty's a horrible name. Betty Boop much?)

August 30st, 2015

Remember: I will always be a part of you. I will always be with you. Even though the me today is almost gone, there will always be a tomorrow.
Have fun in teendom! And do u still have those braces and maybe even those palatal expanders i have now?
Narcissistic much? Remember, no matter what, I LOVE YOU.