Hello Nanda,

I hope this message has found it’s way to you.

It's been a year since you asked me to be yours. I hope we are still together until today, so we can celebrate our first anniversarry. If we aren't...well, at least we are still on good terms.

First of all, I want you to know that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the one who makes me smile when I'm sad. You are the one who I can go to when I need a shoulder to cry on. You are the one who drives me crazy, but I can never stay angry with. You are the one who I would trust with absolutely anything, including my life. You are many things to me. I'll never know how or why I got so lucky to have you, but I'll always be grateful that I do.

There's something in me that believe we will work out because you have seen absolutely every piece of me and still you have stayed with me and never stopped saying you love me. I've also seen you in your best moments and your worse.

We've been through many things together for the past year, with many more to come. 2020 was one of the most brutally wonderful years of our life to date. We experienced a great love, massive geographical upheaval, unmentionable mental breakdown and the beginnings (and endings) of some significant creative projects. It was nothing short of spectacular. We loved, we lost, and we fell apart.

I hope you have managed to figure it all out, the ins and outs of life. I hope you have found the place you pictured yourself you would be and hopefully, it’s everything you’ve imagined.

I hope you’ve forgiven all the people who have hurt you, and I hope their pain doesn’t matter as much to you anymore. But above all of it, I hope you have forgiven yourself. I hope you have forgiven yourself for the mistakes and the bad decisions.

I hope you have picked up all your broken pieces, and put yourself back together. I hope you don’t feel as broken and lost. I hope you have found the place you feel you belong, and I hope you finally feel at home.

We made it through the incredibly hard process of learning to grow together and now the future seems filled with possibilities.

My intention is to bolster you with all the support you will need for the next chapter of your life, with or without me. I hope you feel like you've weathered the storm in ways you didn't think possible, and are surprising those around you with the limitless nature of your compassion.

Thank you for always loving me endlessly and being faithful to me. I look forward to a life time of making you happy and treating you the way you deserve to be treated.

I love you, Dan. Always.

Bekasi, 18 April 2020
09.00 AM
Writing this at home during quarantine

Sincerely,


Cila