DEAR FUTURE MOI
My first response at writing a “dear future me” letter would be to ask you a bunch of questions but since the answer will never in no possible form return back to the past and get to me, I won’t even bother. Instead, I’m going to make this letter a diary entry, in hope that you read it and can pick out all the significant changes to my life in the future. Let’s start off with mama. Mom is awake till 2-3am to listen to ESAT (that stupid Ethiopia radio broadcast), I wonder if she will ever get tired of it and stop listening to it, maybe in the future? I hope with all my heart that the girl that is writing this, and the girl that is reading this, are two different characters. Change yourself, because whether you remember it or not, I am not and you were not happy with who you were. Achieve things in life and gain some real self-confidence, debate more and be passionate about something, because during your 15 year old stages, all you pretty much did was sleep, eat, laugh, and 14 wasn’t any different. You might hate me for how I act towards my friends, to my family, but I want to tell you to shut up because I’m already getting enough hate from my current self, and instead I’m here to tell you to cherish and take care of them. Be the version of yourself that I never had the patience and courage to be. I have a favor to ask you, no matter the situation or the time, I want you to pick up the phone, open your modern technology, or heck, put your shoes on and go to wherever your heart truly desires, follow your dreams, and not those of others. Be a leader, because remember what dad said? You’re not a follower, you’re a leader, and be the ambassador of your own life. And represent yourself with genuine love, courage, and respect, don’t let your fears push you around, or else you will ultimately end up miserable. I wonder if you’re still in Canada, or if you’ve taken our dream to travel the world in action, and we are somewhere in the world, experiencing so many new things, oh future me, how I wish I could be you right now, and I’m sure you want to be me. And if all fails, remember that family will be there to catch you, don’t forget them in your moments of darkness, but embrace them, this is something I’m unable to do now, but I hope in your time it will become your habit to keep your friends close, and your family closer. As I write this to you, I’m going through multiple songs, currently “Beautiful Now” by Zedd is playing, give it a listen and remember the old days. My chest hurts of the thought of growing up, I want to be forever young, and do you miss me my dear future moi? I have no innocence for you to envy, nor am I naïve, in fact I think the people in my generation all had a bit of a quick childhood (Now, “How deep is your love” is playing, guess who by…? Don’t cheat!!) By the way, our current faith level ranges from 0 to 1 on a scale of 10 being a good Muslim, please work on that, you might not remember the time when we were truly praying and believing in Allah (swt) but I do, and those were probably the best times of my life- my patience level? I tolerated everything and felt no need to be agitated, aggravated, or irritated. What they said was true, it was like Allah was guiding me through my life journeys, It breaks my heart to know it didn’t last long, but you have your brother to thank for that- he helped you achieve that happiness only Allah had the power to give you. It seems so simple when you think back to it, just believe in Allah and he will help you, you just need to put in effort to make wudu no matter how cringe worthy it is when the water on your arms sticks to your sweaters (shiver) I hope we have gotten into the habit of this long before you’ve open and read this letter- And if not, what are you waiting for? Thank Allah that you are still alive… PLEASE TELL ME you don’t feel the need to wear make-up anymore, I’m sure if you did stop, you’ve given people advice and have said “When I was younger I couldn’t even leave the house without some make up on” because you know it, I know it, you felt ugly without it- no way around it. Have you done something about your weight? People may tell you its fine and that you’re body is fine, but we know that’s not true, don’t we Rana? Don’t disappoint me, hit the tread mill girl! Fine isn’t enough for future nor present me! Let’s aim for being the best version of “Rana Osman” that we can be! I don’t know how to end this, or if this even is the end, theirs is so much I want to tell you, but you already know it all- I just hope you don’t forget, never ever forget that this is all temporary. Death comes quicker than dinner even after asking if it’s ready 15 times, be steadfast and remember your purpose in this life, even if sometimes you don’t feel like you have one, you do. Be happy and never miss any opportunities! And for sake of success, stop being so lazy! Wake up & shake it up, go on a walk, move them legs girl, you can’t live your whole life on a couch. I just realized I’ve said “girl” more times in this letter than I do in my daily conversations with my friends (Oh by the way, remember that girl Kawtar? Glasses, braces, hijab, camera, and all the latest gadgets? Be nice to her- she may not be much help during a Quiz but she’s gone through so much, she has life lessons to teach you  Love her and all of her, oh and for the sake of her boogers, buy her a pack of tissues (eww, boojars alert, hahah) And remember Randa? STOP TAKING HER FOR GRANTED, and stop envying her unless it pushes you to make yourself better, than by all means… envy away baby! But seriously, call her, email her, and reread our old emails with her, they were long, witty, and intelligent, are you proud of my sarcastic wit and quick mind future me? Doesn’t matter, because I am ;). Here’s come a good bye, don’t cry! But if you do, don’t cry at all the things you’ve done wrong, but cry because you did have fun sometimes, and you were kind to people (at times… you better show kindness to everyone okay?)
So future me, this is where I wrap it up it’s currently 4:58 pm on a Sunday and dad could make an appearance any time (he’s currently at work, he always works on Sundays, remember? If he catches you listening to music, well, you won’t hear the end of it!) Theirs so many people in your life currently, they come and go, you may not see them regularly but they are your friends, and they show you a smile, so be kind to them. Oh and by the way? You better be successful! I know school is hard for us, but that just means you will learn to be hardworking (just another trait to add to your resume, haha, I wonder what your first job was? If mom and dad ever let you have one…) Maybe you’re engaged (Oh god, I hope it’s not to our cousin… no offense to him, but seriously, don’t tell me you got married to him, but if you did- past you is laughing at future you- I hope it all works out no matter what happens.) Please do 3 things for me, 1) Love yourself and your family(the right kind of friends can feel just like family, search for them!) 2) Educate yourself and never willingly live with ignorance, and last but not least; 3) Never take anything for granted, not the boy who delivers the newspaper, not the person who held a door open for you, and never the people who raised you and cared for you, and definitely not the beating heart Allah swt has blessed you with, may alhamdulilah your new fav word of a life time, and never take anything for granted- and with that said; Ciao bella, I hope you’re everything I dreamed you’d be.
Sincerely, your 15 year old self.
Ps. I love ya okay? Don’t forget it.
10/4/2015