Happy 27th birthday, P!

By the time you receive this email, it's been more than 4 years since we broke up. You're probably married, or finally a big boss at your job. Either way, I hope you're doing great.

I'm also pretty sure we're not in each other's lives anymore by this time.

As I'm writing this, I'm also going through the box full of our stuff. Letters, pictures, movie tickets, and all the things that I kept when we were together. And I can't believe how much we've been through. A lot of horrible times, yes, but also a lot of wonderful memories. The laughs, hugs, kisses, promises, silence, pain, cheating, tears, and everything in between. You taught me what real love is. That my heart can shatter into a million pieces and still love you whole-heartedly.

But I guess all of those memories happened when we were young. We've grown up since then. We grew apart, too.

I'm in a relationship as of the moment with an amazing guy. He takes care of me, goes with me to every doctor's appointment, makes me happy, and—most importantly—he loves me the way I deserve to be loved. I don't know if he and I are still together by the time you get this, though, because what I feel for him isn't even half of what I felt, and still feel, for you.

I know, deep down, that I won't stop loving you. I also know we're better off without each other, but if there's anything our relationship taught me, it's hope.

It's hope that as you're reading this, I'm still alive and not sick anymore. It's hope that one day, maybe we'll see each other on a rooftop, like when we first met. I'll walk up to you, and we can talk about how we are. And maybe, just maybe, we can fall in love all over again.

But I guess that's too much to ask for, isn't it? So I guess, if we never cross paths again in this lifetime, and our love story is indeed finished after all, all I can do is hope that you're happy. That you're living your life the way you always dreamed of. I want to say I forgive you. For everything. I hope you forgive me too.

But if there's a chance that we can continue our love story, tell me, and I'll come running back to you.

There's not a single day that I don't think of you, P. Wherever I am, know that I'm wishing you the happiest of birthdays.

-S