Dear Future Bailey,
How are you?
I wonder what you're up to? Do I know in the future? It's only a month after I write this that it'll be sent to, so I wonder how much could change between now and then.
It'll be my sixteenth birthday. That's gonna be weird haha. Are you gonna be there? Are we gonna be together? I don't know right now.
You say you're really confused about your life, and that sounds fair enough considering what you've been through in the last couple of months. I hope you feel better about those things. Did we sort it all out? Did you speak to someone?
I hope you did. I hope you're doing well. I hope we sorted it all out and we've come back together. Although I'll understand if that hasn't happened. But I really love you, and you're the only one I want to be with, even if you need the space first.
You're on your first day of your course and I'm sitting in English with no idea what to do and missing you. But I'm so glad you're doing a course. It'll be good for you. Have you had another day since then? How is it? Is it hard?
I might find out, :)
I'm hoping you'll come see me tonight, so we can play FIFA together. I'm not sure if you want to come to my house. The last time you were there, you left me. I think you find it awkward because of my mum. She won't be mean or awkward. She knows I'm trying my hardest to fix this, and to help you.
I sleep in that shirt that I bought for you every night. The Tokyo one that's a size Medium from Cotton On in Wollongong… it's comfy, and I like it.
I'm feeling good, and hopeful, and I'm just praying I don't break down again. I'm praying you don't give me reason to.
Last night was so crazy, and normal, and happy.
Just being with you makes me all fuzzy and I can't really think properly. I don't feel as confused after last night. I feel determined and happy. I am so much happier.
I have work this afternoon, but I'm gonna buy some sewing supplies on my way so I can do the thing to your boots. You want me to sew your dads initials into your football boots. I think that's actually a wonderful idea. I'm glad you want to do it.
You know, I'm sure he would want you to be okay. You're gonna make him proud. You are such a great person. You're so fun, and down-to-earth, and funny. You complete me, and I hope you feel the same about me.
I'm not even sure if you check your email or not, so I'm gonna write you a note or something so you will. Maybe I'll just tell you if we are close enough still.
Do you remember my last birthday? When we went and got some hell good foods, and borrowed some movies, and had such a relaxed night. But at the same time, it was really crazy. You stayed over for the first time, and slept in Ryley's bed I think :P
I want to cuddle you like we used to. Remember those lazy weekends where you'd come over in the morning, and we'd just cuddle and talk and fall asleep, and then do something in the afternoon. We used to do lots.
I want to be like that again. Wanna go for a walk sometime?
We could go to Point Riley again? Or just around North Beach? Could walk to Wallaroo and get some ice cream or whatever as a reward? You should be my fitness coach. Don't let me fail. I'm trying so hard and I know I'll get there if I just get some help. I completed three sessions last night. I used my sit-ups app, my squats app, and that circuit thingy I was telling you about that goes from 10 sit-ups to 100 star jumps, etc.
It was so intense. I don't think I've ever sweat so much in my life. But I was so proud of myself. I want you to be proud of me. I want you to want to be with me.
I want to be fit, and beautiful and smart, and happy with you. And I know that is achievable. I've been so lazy, I've lost sight of achievement. But that's changed. Thank you.
Well, this is horribly long, I'm so sorry. But I'll end now. I hope you are feeling well. Give me a big hug for my birthday.
Iloveyou.


Just Cherena x ;)